


The Tragedy of Much Ado About Nothing

by NewToThee



Category: Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beatrice Gets What She Wants, Comedy to Tragedy, Everything Does Not Work Out, F/M, Gen, Iambic Pentameter, It's Not Great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5826205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewToThee/pseuds/NewToThee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some comedies are one death away from tragedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tragedy of Much Ado About Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> The alternate ending begins in Act V, Scene 1 when Benedick enters.

Scene 1

(On stage Don Pedro and Claudio. Enter Benedick)

D. Pedro: See, see, here comes the man we went to seek. 

Claudio: Now, signior, what news? 

Benedick: Good day, my lord. 

D. Pedro: Welcome, signior, you are almost come  
to part almost a fray. 

Claudio: We had lik’d to have had our two noses   
Snapp’d off with two old men without teeth. 

D. Pedro: Leonato and his brother. What think’st   
thou? Had we fought, I doubt we should have been   
Too young for them. 

Benedick: In a false quarrel there is no true valor.   
I came to seek you both. 

Claudio: We have been up and down to seek thee,  
for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain  
have it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit? 

Benedick: It is in my scabbard, shall I draw it? 

D. Pedro: Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? 

Claudio: Never any did so, though very many have   
been beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do  
the minstrels, draw to pleasure us. 

D. Pedro: As I am an honest man, he looks pale.  
Art thou sick, or angry? 

Claudio: What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat  
thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill   
care. 

Benedick: I pray you, sir, choose another subject. 

D. Pedro: By this light, he changes more and  
more. I think he be angry indeed. 

Benedick: (To Claudio) Shall I speak a word in your ear? 

Claudio: God bless me from a challenge! 

Benedick: (Aside to Claudio)   
You are a villain. I jest not.   
I will make it good how you dare, with what you  
dare and when you dare. Do me right; or I will   
protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady,  
And her death shall fall heavy on you.   
Let me hear from you. 

Claudio: Well, I will meet you, so I may have good   
cheer. 

D. Pedro: What, a feast, a feast? 

Claudio: I’ faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a   
calve’s-head and a capon, the which, if I do not carve   
most curiously, say my knife’s naught. Shall I not   
find a woodcock, too? 

Benedick: Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily. 

D. Pedro: I’ll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit  
The other day. I said thou had’st a fine wit.  
“True”, said she, “a fine little one.”  
“No”, said I, “a great wit.”   
“Right,” says she, “a great gross one.”  
“Nay,” said I, “a good wit,”  
“Just,” said she, “it hurts nobody.”  
“Nay,” said I, “the gentleman is wise.”  
“Certain,” said she, “a wise gentleman.”  
“Nay,” said I, “he hath the tongues.”   
“That I believe,” said she, “for he swore   
A thing to me on Monday night,   
Which he forswore on Tuesday morning.   
There’s a double tongue, there’s two tongues.”  
Thus did she an hour together   
Trans-shape thy particular virtues, yet   
At last she concluded with a sigh,   
Thou was’t the proper’st man in Italy. 

Claudio: For the which she wept heartily and said   
she cared not.   
D. Pedro: Yea, that she did, but yet for all that,   
and if she did not hate him deadly, she   
would love him dearly. 

Claudio: The old man’s daughter told us all. 

Benedick: Upon this I draw my wit. Prepare! En guard!  
(Benedick draws)

D. Pedro: He is in earnest. 

Claudio: In most profound earnest, and I’ll warrant  
you, for the love of Beatrice. 

D. Pedro: And hath challenged thee?   
Claudio: Most sincerely. 

Benedick: Wit in scabbard, refuse to draw? En guard!

D. Pedro: What a pretty thing man is when he   
Goes in his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!   
But when shall we set the savage bull’s horns   
On the sensible Benedick’s head? 

Claudio: Yea, and text underneath, “ Here dwells   
Benedick, the married man”? 

Benedick: En guard three times and yet no wit in hand?  
Have at thee, boy, for honor and for love!  
(Stabs Claudio)

Claudio: Thy wit strikes target as ne’r before.   
Oh, thou dissembler, I am to the quick.  
(Claudio dies)

Don Pedro: Benedick, what hast thou wrought? Claudio  
Thy prey and thou his hunter? Stand and be  
Delivered! I arrest thee for a villain!  
(Don Pedro draws)

Benedick: To thy hand, obedient, I submit.  
Claudio is my errand and none other.  
(Benedick drops sword)

(Enter Dogberry with Borachio under guard)

Dogberry: Come you, sir. If justice cannot tame you,  
She shall ne’er weigh more reasons in her balance. 

D. Pedro: How now? My brother’s man Borachio bound?   
Officer, what offense hath this man done? 

Dogberry: Marry, sir, he hath committed false report,   
moreover he hath spoken untruths;  
secondarily, he is slanders;  
sitx and lastly, he hath belied a lady;  
thirdly, he hath verified unjust things;  
and to conclude, he is a lying knave. 

D. Pedro: Who have you offended, master, that you  
are bound thus to your answer?  
This learned constable is too cunning  
to be understood. What’s your offense? 

Borachio: Sweet Prince, let me go no farther to mine  
answer: hear me, and let this account kill me.  
I have deceived even your very eyes.   
Now confessing how Don Jon, your brother,  
incensed me to slander the Lady Hero,  
how you were brought into the orchard,  
and saw me court Margaret in Hero’s garments  
how you disgraced her when Claudio should  
have married her. The lady is dead upon  
mine and my master’s false accusation. 

D. Pedro: Runs this speech but like iron through my blood.   
I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.   
But did my brother set thee on to this? 

Borachio: Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. 

Benedick: Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. 

D. Pedro: He is composed and framed of treachery  
and fled he is upon this villainy.   
Hero, now thy image doth appear in  
the semblance that Claudio loved it first.   
Officer, attach this villain to thy charge.  
For Claudio’s death he now shall answer.

(Enter Leonato)

Leonato: Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes  
so that when I note another man like him  
I may avoid him. Which of these is he? 

Borachio: If you would know your wronger, look on me. 

Leonato: Art thou the slave that with thy breath hath killed  
mine innocent child? 

Borachio: Yea, even I alone. 

Leonato: Not so, villain, thou beliest thyself.  
Here a pair of honorable men,   
yet one lies bloody aground in death’s grasp. 

Don Pedro: Benedick hath murdered his brother as  
the first of brothers didst murder kin.

Benedick: Not brother, but kindred of arms and kind.  
In love did I act and not in kindred.  
The bond of love o’erwhelms the bond of kind.

Don Pedro: Thy act offends the kindred of all souls  
as it offends the soul of Claudio.

Benedick: Kindred stands not in favor of honor,  
nor stands it in favor of my love.

D. Pedro: What reason have you for this rash act which  
sends Claudio to judgment before time? 

Benedick: You have among you wronged a sweet and  
innocent lady. For my Lord Lack-beard   
there, he and I have met, and peace be with him.   
His wrongs stand with him against salvation.  
So shall yours should you not find repentance.

Don Pedro: Villain, it stands to thee to dread thy fate,  
not to chastise the fate of he you’ve wronged.

Benedick: My honor shall accompany my fate  
and stand as witness to my salvation.

Don Pedro: Is honor of murder and thief the strength  
that thou shalt carry thy judgment against?

Benedick: Here honor stands intact in my defense. 

Don Pedro: Go, villain. Thy earthly judgment awaits.   
Thereafter, spiritual judgment shall  
call thee to just reward beyond this realm.

(Exit Dogberry with Borachio and Benedick under guard)

Leonato: I thank you, prince, for my daughter’s death.  
Record it with your high and worthy deeds.  
‘Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it. 

D. Pedro: By my soul, I know not how to pray your patience,  
yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself,  
Impose me to what penance your invention   
can lay upon my sin; yet sinned I not,  
but in mistaking. 

Leonato: ‘Twas here that Benedick avenged the  
reputation of sweet Hero, the which  
the Count, who in salvation lay in quest,  
and thou, had falsely led to ruin.   
Enjoin sweet Benedick to live and enmity  
shall die with these two lovers crossed.

D. Pedro: Ha, not for the wide world. 

Leonato: Then, my Lord, I pray you,  
to-morrow morning come you to my house,  
and since Claudio not be my son-in-law,  
Yet thou be my nephew. My brother hath a daughter,  
Almost a copy of my child that’s dead.  
And she alone is heir to both of us.  
Give her the right that Claudio should have   
Her cousin given and so dies revenge. 

D. Pedro: I do embrace your offer, and dispose  
Henceforth for poor Claudio,  
Though I have met nor know the maid but naught. 

Leonato: To-morrow then I will expect your coming.   
Farewell, my lord, we look for you tomorrow. 

D. Pedro: I will not fail. 

Exeunt (severally)

 

Scene 2

(Beatrice, with Benedick in prison)

Beatrice: Oh, but she lives, her innocence is known!  
It was the Friar who sleep for death advised  
to draw arrears from Claudio and Prince,  
their false regret to have been falsely drawn!  
And now, my love in threat of death resides  
for honor falsely lost and ne’r in doubt.  
Thou dies avenging honor never lost?

Benedick: Yea, thou and I hath known that honor n’er  
in doubt would reputation reinstate  
when truth, its day, be shown to be fair.  
Yet honor never could repudiate   
the taint upon it stained by ruthless canard.  
Desperate act alone must reinstate   
the honor-matched name, stainless in regard,  
and perpetrators called on to relate. 

Beatrice: My guilt resides upon thy brow. But yet  
the prince will not accept my errand pressed  
upon thy hand, upon thy sword, thy point  
of honor pressed upon my point of wrath.   
No malice but foresworn by my demand,   
As much a victim as was Hero.

Benedick: With honest bent my hand thou dost engaged  
with innocence of malice did thy heart proceed.  
‘Twas love of Hero’s honor, thus enraged,   
that thus my vengeful hand became decreed.

Beatrice: Don Pedro can I not convince that thou,  
the lamb to slaughter, I the wolf, who garbed  
as sheep, doth slaughter innocence in this.

Benedick: Tis I whose answer for this act be giv’n.   
Thy gentle prodding didst but enflame,  
that but for thy words, had n’er but risen.  
That thy words were needed is but my shame.

My love, regret not parting of our way,  
for I from honorable life impart.  
Assure me, though, that life in thou shalt stay.  
For loss shall win the day if both depart.

Beatrice: My sorrow great is in thy loss from me.  
My greater fear is for the soul of thee. 

Benedick: If love and honor together embed  
then action for-taken, shall justify  
the earthly act that earthly path doth tread.  
The act then thus shall heaven sanctify.

The King of all our hopes doth understand  
What we on earth may never ascertain.  
That aspiration’s goodness lies in hand  
When purity’s intent guides action’s vein.

As heart to soul doth bear, so thought to act.  
By heart the soul shall rise; the act decline.  
Together love and honor, crimes redact.  
In balance ever shall the act repine.

In faith I find myself immured.  
The gates of heaven are to me assured.

Beatrice: Oh, my love, that we could set this right  
Or both should pass into the night.

(Fade to black on the scene)

 

Scene 3

(Enter Leonato, Antonio, Friar and Hero in Leonato’s garden.)

Friar: Did I not tell you she was innocent? 

Leonato: So are the Prince and poor Claudio   
upon the error that you heard debated. 

Antonio: Well, I am glad that all things sorts so well. 

Leonato: Well, daughter, come to me masked. The Prince  
hath promised by this hour to visit me.   
You know your office, brother: you must be   
the father to your brother’s daughter she  
and give her willing to good Don Pedro. 

(Exit Hero)

Antonio: Which I will do with confirmed countenance.   
Here comes the brides-man good Prince, Don Pedro. 

Enter Prince (Don Pedro)

Don Pedro: Good morrow to this fair assembly. 

Leonato: Good morrow, Prince; good morrow.   
We here attend you. Are you yet determined  
to-day to marry with my brother’s daughter? 

(Enter Hero masked, and Beatrice)

Don Pedro: I’ll hold my mind were she an Ethiope.   
Which is the lady I must seize upon? 

Antonio: This same is she, and I do give you her. 

Don Pedro: Why then she’s mine. Sweet lady let me see your face. 

Leonato: No, that you shall not till you take her hand,  
before this friar, and swear to marry her. 

Don Pedro: Give me your hand before this holy friar-  
I am your husband, if you like of me. 

Hero: (Unmasking) And when I lived, I was once his wife,  
and when he loved, he was once my husband. 

Don Pedro: Another Hero! 

Hero: Nothing certainter:  
One Hero died defiled, but I do live,  
and surely as I live, I am a maid. 

Don Pedro: The former Hero! Her that was dead! 

Leonato: She died, my lord, but whiles her slander lived. 

Friar: All this amazement can I qualify,  
when after that the holy rites are ended,  
I’ll tell you largely of fair Hero’s death.  
Mean time let wonder seem familiar.   
You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady? 

Leonato: I dare make his answer, yea. 

Friar: Lady, you come hither marry this man? 

Hero: No. 

Leonato: Again, Friar, to be married to him.   
Again, Friar, you come to marry her. 

Friar: Lady, you come hither to be married to this man? 

Hero: Friar, my answer hath been given.

Leonato: Daughter, what mean you to gain by this?

Hero: Though reputation lies upon these stones  
My honor hath been requited alone  
By action of the noble Benedick,  
Who, for my stead, now stands condemned for truth.  
To marry now this Don is to deny  
The man in whose breast honor resides alone.   
Friar, in some reclusive and religious life,   
Out of all eyes, tongues, minds and injuries,  
Shalt thou conceal me, as offer thou hast made. 

Beatrice: Hero, surrender not the joy of life   
Regained to the advice found of these men.   
Reside with me. Within ourselves shall we   
Within fulfill our own disparate destinies. 

Hero: My Beatrice, tis not advice of any   
They that pricks me on to choice.  
To honor do obedience I give  
Which, at thy cost, hath been restored to me.   
I now reside alone within my prayers.

Beatrice: Without my Hero, nor my Benedick.  
With wit dissolved to melancholy.  
Yet will I stay, that loss should lose the day.   
Possess the people in Messina here  
How innocent he died, and if my love  
Can labor aught in sad invention,  
Hang him an epitaph upon his tomb,  
And sing it to his bones. Sing it tonight.   
Daily will I do this rite. 

Don Pedro: What should I speak? I stand dishonored, that   
Have gone about to link myself to this maid. 

Leonato: What shall become of this? What will this do?   
Still hath no man’s dagger a point for me? 

Don Pedro: You have yourselves, enough with which to live.  
My part, to Arragon departs at haste.  
Don Jon, Borachio and Conrad shall  
Attend me under guard, for I shall mete   
Them variable justice as befits  
Conspiracy. This conspiracy  
I leave as befits the justice of time.

Beatrice: My lord, Messina stands not alone  
condemned. Thy part in this proceeding doth  
not without taint proceed. Before thy haste  
cans’t thou justify thy part?

Don Pedro: Only this:

Two comrades that excelled upon the field   
Of war are laid to waste upon the peace.  
Those lessons learned in victory shall yield  
Return of less than naught when battles cease.

The victory in war, though great, is slight,  
Encompassing falsely the peace to come.  
Illusion feeds our hopes, with hearth set right,  
That grace and ease shall add to fill the sum.

Though war be harsh, by We and They defined.  
In peace, the lines are drawn with inkless pen.  
The peace, with We alone, must be confined,  
That civil life may draw it’s what and when.

That soldier brings his honor home is true.  
In peace, that honor must he win anew.

(Exeunt. Severally)  
End of Play


End file.
